"Well. Her name is Anthy, and she's working on her own revolution. She sounded like us, Will, like her battle and ours weren't so different... I can't explain."

Lyra's jaw tenses, and the set of her shoulders tightens, but she speaks her next words clearly. "I had to go home. I couldn't stay there. It wasn't a place to build the Republic, you know... but before I left, I kissed her, Will. She was lovely and strange and sweet, but she wasn't you. I miss her too, Will. Not as much as I miss you, not ever as much, but I miss her. I don't know if you can understand that. I'm--"

A sob breaks loose before Lyra can stifle it.

"I'm lonely here, and I'm tired of working, and fighting, and doing all of those things I have to do to build the Republic of Heaven. I wake up in the middle of the night and climb up on the Lodge Tower thinking of you, and thinking of her too, and watching the stars--"

Lyra wraps her arms around Pantalaimon and breathes jerkily to keep herself from crying any more.