Every year, the ache that is the Lyra-shaped spaced in his soul sharpens when he sits here. Every year that space seems just a bit emptier.
"Lyra, I miss you," he says unhappily, finally, and closes his eyes, hoping it will help him pretend that she is sitting there, bright hair flashing in the sun and laughing at him.
But it doesn't.
"Oh, Lyra. I know we promised, but I can't help feeling that we shouldn't have. Why build a Kingdom of Heaven when there isn't any Authority left to rule it? I wish I'd stayed with you, even if I'd died."
His eyes snap fiercely.
"Nothing seems to make a difference, no matter what I do. Oh, the professors like me well enough, and I'm doing well--I was moved up a year, you know." He smiles, a bit. "And Mary sends her love--well. She would. She does, I'm sure. I'm living with her now...I must have told you that. Ever since my mother died."
Kirjava sits upright on his lap, staring intently into the space next to him.
He only shakes his head.
"And there's no one--no one--no one! Every one seems so dull, when they're not you. Not fair to them, I imagine."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2005-09-20 04:32 am (UTC)Every year, the ache that is the Lyra-shaped spaced in his soul sharpens when he sits here. Every year that space seems just a bit emptier.
"Lyra, I miss you," he says unhappily, finally, and closes his eyes, hoping it will help him pretend that she is sitting there, bright hair flashing in the sun and laughing at him.
But it doesn't.
"Oh, Lyra. I know we promised, but I can't help feeling that we shouldn't have. Why build a Kingdom of Heaven when there isn't any Authority left to rule it? I wish I'd stayed with you, even if I'd died."
His eyes snap fiercely.
"Nothing seems to make a difference, no matter what I do. Oh, the professors like me well enough, and I'm doing well--I was moved up a year, you know." He smiles, a bit. "And Mary sends her love--well. She would. She does, I'm sure. I'm living with her now...I must have told you that. Ever since my mother died."
Kirjava sits upright on his lap, staring intently into the space next to him.
He only shakes his head.
"And there's no one--no one--no one! Every one seems so dull, when they're not you. Not fair to them, I imagine."
He chuckles, miserably.